Church Discipline
A young couple joined a new church and the vicar told them, "we require all new member couples to abstain from sex for one whole month."
The couple agreed, but after two weeks returned to see the vicar.
The wife was crying and the husband was obviously depressed.
"You are back so soon, is there a problem?" enquired the vicar.
"We did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.
"The first week we managed to abstain through sheer will power and the second week was terrible and as we began the third week we were powerless."
The vicar asked what happened.
The young man replied, "my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it.
When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her right then and there.
It was lustful, loud, and passionate. It lasted over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat."
The vicar lowered his head and said sternly, "you understand this means you will not be welcome in our church."
"We understand," said the young man, hanging his head, "we're not welcome at B&Q either