Laughing House: Baptising an Irishman

Laughing House: Baptising an Irishman: House of Jokes to make you laugh, as Laughter is a good medicine to get healing in the Body and release tension in the mind:    Bap...

House of Jokes to make you laugh, as Laughter is a good medicine to get healing in the Body and release tension in the mind

Baptising an Irishman

House of Jokes to make you laugh, as Laughter is a good medicine to get healing in the Body and release tension in the mind: 

Baptising an Irishman A Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when  he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently  bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by  the smell of  alcohol, whereupon he asks  the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?' The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.' The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, 'Have you found Jesus my brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No, oi I haven't found  Jesus.' By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the  water again - but this time holds him down for  about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his  arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher  again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God  have you found Jesus?'                          (Are you ready for this????) The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you sure this is where he fell in?'

Golfers Headache

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.

Just before he was put under, the surgeon stopped to see him.

"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon.

"The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"

"Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good 

news?"

"The good news is, I have a donated one to replace it with, but it's a woman's 

arm.

I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."

"Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play golf again.."

The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course 

when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.

"Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life.

My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved."

"That's great," said the surgeon.

"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've 

learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes 

in watercolours."

"Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was 

such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"

"Well, just one problem," said the golfer.

"Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache.

Live life one day at a time and make it a masterpiece!